A test of strength

My strength is being tested big time right now. I'm just trying to remember that its only a test and that I just need to hang on and get through it!
You know in the last two years I've met a ton of friends online! Most of which I felt instantly connected, and it felt like we'd been friends for years. I've even met a lot of my local friends online. Our Down syndrome association is not all that great, and I don't think I would have met these friends without my blog.
But I've recently had my heart stepped on by someone I thought was a good friend. Len't my shoulder to cry on, only to be lied to and betrayed. It has left me much more wary of people, although I'm trying not to let it, because I know the majority of people are very real, and traveling the same Down syndrome road we are.
I'm feeling a little lonely in the blog world right now also. I know its summer and everyone is playing, but it seems blog traffic is way down, which is just hard because that's where most of my support group is. Which also means fundraising has slowed to nothing. I'm just hoping this last big fundraiser will bring in lots of money, and that getting it out of cyberspace and into the community will help!
You may remember that my garbage disposal died and then my dishwasher died, literally at the same time, and both had to be replaced. Then yesterday, Carter was playing the WII and let go of the remote and hit our 50 inch TV that we've only had a few months. I don't know if the TV can be fixed, but I do know if it can its going to cost a pretty penny! Even though it was an accident, it was kind of that last straw in our house. I can also imagine his terror when it happened, and how scared he was to tell me. I know boys are destructive (I'm dying for some girl naughtiness!) but it seems like the boys don't respect anything. Carter broke his bed weeks after getting it, and I can't get them to keep their room clean to save my life. It always goes back to trashed, so they don't respect anything they have. So right now we've basically taken everything away from them that they love. The WII is put up, Carters bike is put up, they are basically on lock down, and it sucks! We were supposed to go swimming yesterday, and get Jax in the water finally. But after the TV incident, swimming was off the table.
My sweet, messy faced little go getter is not seeming so sweet right now!

Jax labs from Saturday were interesting. His albumen is slowly coming back up so that's good, but his bnp, which looks for heart failure, is up. Normal is 100, his is 400. Its not severe failure, meaning something is structurally wrong with his heart, but it means that something is causing his heart to work harder. My guess is pulmonary hypertension. So we wait for doctors to call today and give their take. He's probably going to want to go back to the cath lab, and I was really hoping we could make it through a year with no surgeries. I guess we'll probably never have that luxury! But this all can't be coming at a worse time, when we are getting ready to leave the country for weeks!
It was actually a huge stress reliever last night to work out in my front yard. Making my new flower beds beautiful. I guess that's a good thing because my backyard is in need of some serious loving. So maybe that's where I'll focus my stresses, and get my yard done at the same time!