Why doesn't he just rip my heart right out of my chest??

You are not going to believe the story that I'm about to tell you! Your jaw will be on the floor, make sure your sitting down to read this!
I had a doctors appointment up at the hospital with Jax today. As I was standing at the counter to check him in I saw this lady holding a baby. Yeah the waiting room was full of kids, but for some reason my eyes went to this baby. Thats when the back of my mind said, that looks a lot like the baby girl we were trying to adopt. Teeny tiny, tons of dark hair, and her head was a tad smaller than a normal babies head. Not even noticable if you didn't know she had that defect.

But I did,

I knew that had to be the baby! She was with two ladies, I suppose foster mom and the case worker. They walked up to the counter and said they needed to make a follow up appointment for ----. I just about fell out of my chair! It was her! And friends, she is so beautiful! She was just content sitting in the lady's arms, looking around. Simply gorgeous. Why, why did I have to see her? Do you know how this hurts me? I was over her, moving on to find another baby girl. Now I want to call DCFS and yell, "give her to me. You have no idea of the knowledge I have. And that she would be perfect in our family".
The crazy thing is she was seeing the same doctor I was there to see. I knew that because the case worker had told me she was seeing her. I almost cried right there in the waiting room. When we got called back and the doctor came in, she asked me if everything was ok. I told her I'd just seen a baby that we were trying to adopt. She knew exactly who I was talking about. Now don't worry, the doctor didn't violate good ol'e HIPPA. No names were mentioned or diagnosis. I just told her the case workers don't understand how much I know. And that they strung us along. They think the baby is terminal. But they are case workers! They have no medical background. They have no idea that she is a cake walk to me. And the doctor did say that compared to Jax her medical issues are nothing! Urgh, this is so hard! What are the chances of seeing this baby and putting two and two together? Of course it did happen to me, it always does.
I'm just going to close my eyes now and click my heels together and say.. there's no place like Disneyland, there's no place like Disneyland. In a few short days I will see my Ella and my sweet Zoey girl. And hopefully Peanut too!!


Now for pictures.
Jax was not waking up for therapy! No way jose!





And chillin at our doctors appointment today.