Friday, February 26, 2010

Picking myself up again!

I'm really trying to pick myself back up the second time around. Its really hard, I can't get that sweet face out of my head. I'm seriously considering calling DCSF one last time and just telling them that if this home doesn't work out that they have for her, please, please consider us! Then I can move on. Many of you said that it wasn't coincidence. What does that mean though? Does it mean I try harder for her or just move on? They already have a home for her, or so they say! I'm also considering putting our home study on I hear lately a lot of people are having luck there. The only bad thing is its 100 bucks a month to post your profile. But it may not hurt to at least try for a couple of months. I do want to know where the 100 bucks goes. I really hope its not just some guy making bank off people who are trying to adopt. I need to check it out and make sure the money goes to something good!

I was trying to catch Jax rolling over. Didn't work so well!
Maybe I'll go right!

Maybe left!

No I'll just look for the bright lights!

My little fat-cheeked, chicken-legged baby!

Check that smile out!

5 days and counting to Disney!


Kelly said...

Ooohhhh, I am just loving those cheeks:) Lacey, Jax is just beautiful! Keep your head up, everything happens for a reason, and that reason always reveals itself!

Rochelle said...

Oh Lacey,

So sorry that you are feeling this way.
Being a Christian, I firmly believe God does have a plan for exactly which little girl he is going to give you. In the moment it is sometimes so hard to know what is going on but rather much easier to look back and see His hand on things.
If you are still feeling that nudge to call then by all means do so. Whether this is the girl that joins your family or not hopefully you will have peace about the outcome.
I will pray for peace and discernment for you & your little girl.
Maybe one last "all boy" vacation is in His plan :)

CFMama said...

Love the pictures of Jax rolling and smiling! Enjoy Disney!

mandd3 said...

It is not going to hurt to call DCFS again and tell them exactly what you said in your post. If things don't work out with the other family will they please consider you. Then you have done all you can do to make that particular little girl yours. If it does not work out than you can take comfort in having done all you can do. I know I am going to mess this up but there is a saying I heard that goes something like God never says no to our prayers. He either answers "Yes", "Not yet", or "I have something better in mind". Take heart dear lady because you know He is listening. Plus, nothing takes the cares of the day away like Disney. BTW we also call Tomas' legs "chicken legs", actually we call them rubber chicken legs.

stephanie said...

Call again do everything possible. You will hang onto her if you don't.
I know I would torture myself with "what if's". make a call and tell them if anything doesn't go through you are still interested. Can't hurt. Wish i could squeeze you and make you feel better.

Jax looks like a cool dude in black!

Team Carter Jay said...

I agree with previous posters. It wouldn't hurt to at least call. Maybe it would help you to move on.

and OMG... Carter NEEDS those Babylegs. Off to do some shopping :)

ch said...

For what it's heart broke a few times before we found LC. And, once we did, it was so clear that she was meant to be ours that I regretted the worry and hurt I allowed the earlier ones to cause me. She was so worth the wait.

If it WAS destined for you to see that sweet girl you'd fallen in love with, I wonder if it was to give you reassurance that she was being loved and attended to. I think it's signficant that you saw her being immediately treated by a doctor you obviously trust.
Calling DCFS is a super idea to keep you all in the front of their minds. I'd also feel open in asking why your family wasn't selected as the family for her, in case the judgment was made on misinformation or there's additional information you can add to your homestudy to make you more viable candidates. (This was necessary in our adoption of Jace...)
Either way, you're all in our prayers and we're looking forward to meeting the peanut who finds her way to you all...

Dawn said...

I love those baby leg covered chicken legs. he's just too cute for words

Anonymous said...

Pirate leggings !!!! So cute!


ANewKindOfPerfect said...

I'm sorry that you are so torn Lacey. I would want to be sure where the $100 went on that site as well.

We are set for Friday. I am going to pull Monkey from school around 11 or so and head over. Can you email me your cell phone number again, I can call when we get to Dland. Do you text?

Evie's Story said...

Im hurting for you. Clearly you had begun to bond with that sweet girl and my heart just aches for you to have the rug pulled out from under you. What a lucky little girl will be the one who is welcomed into your home and precious family. We will be praying her into being...and SOON we hope!

Im sorry friend~

Lovin Lane said...

I just love your pics... where do you get those cute socks??? My Lane is too big for them but they are cute.... Love your cutie pics..

The VW's said...

I just love Jax pictures! What a handsome little man!

I would call them can't hurt, plus then you might not be wondering about her so much.

Love and Hugs!!!