Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Where is my plastic bubble?

Don't all of us moms wish we had a plastic bubble we could wrap around our kids to keep them safe from everything? I have found, especially after having Jax, that I wish I could keep heartache from my kids. I have also found, that my sensitive oldest son has gotten more sensitive since Jax come along.


I remember him being all boy when he was little. He loved to play baseball, until he was hit with a pitch when he was 6. That was the end of baseball for him. But the last 4 years, he has been an emotional roller coaster. We joke that he's our girl because he has more drama and hurt feelings than any girl I know!

He is Jax special buddy, and lover of all things special needs!

He played soccer a few years ago, but never really got into it. When Carter started baseball a couple of years ago, and became a 6 year old superstar, Mondo decided he wanted to play baseball again. Last year he told us he wanted to play after sign-ups, and there was no more room. So this year we asked him early. We warned him that if he played, he was going to be playing with kids that have played for years! And that they would probably be a lot better players than him. I didn't want him to be disappointed.
I'll admit, I was really worried about him playing, especially after I found out the team he was on consisted of players that played in a super league too. But we lucked out big time. The coach is incredible, and the players humble. They included him immediately, and never got upset when he struck out or missed a ball. Mondo has yet to hit a ball in a game. It is frustrating to me because I know he can do. Sunday we took the boys to the park and he was hitting them like crazy. He gets out on that field and freezes.
My shy, sensitive boy!

Last nights game was a nail biter. The two top teams were playing each other. It was a very close game, and unfortunately we had a horrible umpire. He botched calls left and right, for both teams.
We lost by one point.
Mondo was extremely upset. Not really because they lost, but because he didn't hit the ball. After hitting all those balls on Sunday, he was ready for the game. The umpire did call some bad balls on him, and I know that didn't help, but his self esteem is shot! He literally sobbed after the game. He also has CRT testing in school this week, and tons of make up baseball games. We will be at the park every night this week. Last night I gave him one of Jax trazadones to try and help him sleep all night. He's like me, he will lay in bed all night, unable to shut his brain off. He woke up pretty happy this morning, but I hate that his self esteem is so low. I want my boys to experience everything. Everything except heartache. And I know that heartache is a part of life, but I also think what they've been through with Jax is enough for a lifetime. What do we do when we don't have that plastic bubble to wrap around our kids? I want him to hit the ball so bad, and I know he can do it.
Its also so hard with Carter. He is probably going to be playing in the super league next year with a couple of his team mates. He is just to good for this league. His team is undefeated right now. That doesn't help Mondo's self esteem at all either!

Sigh....

What do I do for him?

Being a mother is definitely harder than any job I know!

19 comments:

Rochelle said...

Oh bless him. He is such a tender hearted boy. You are doing a great job just knowing all their personality differences and trying to meet each of their needs. We will pray for his self esteem. Such a great kid don't want him to be down on himself at all!

The VW's said...

Poor guy! Mondo sounds similiar to our 10 year old and it always breaks my heart when he is feeling this way! The saying that goes something like this, "after you have a child, your heart is outside walking around the world" is so true! Being a Momma is definitely hard, and yet, such a wonderful job! Hugs!!!

Kelli said...

You are right...being a mother is the hardest job there is. I think you are doing everything everyone else would do...continue to encourage him and love him and guess what? One day he WILL hit the ball and it will be just like how we feel when our little ones accomplish a skill that is so much more difficult for them than it is for everyone else. It's still is going to be difficult to watch him struggle, but it will all be worth it when he DOES hit the ball because it will be such a huge accomplishment for him...what a sweet boy he is!

Kristin said...

What do you do? Encourage and love him.

Heather said...

Could you make sure that bubble,if you find one,is big enough for us too!

We always say that Mondo and Jake are alike and you know,it is so true.Reading this only confirmed it for me.The sad thing for me sometimes is when Jake makes a comment about Joe being better than him at sports.I try to follow that with all the wonderful things Jake does that Joe lags a bit behind but sometimes,no matter what I say or do,his heart still hurts.

Jake started guitar,which he loves and is so good at and he is in his second season of volleyball and for him,a sport that is less aggressive is better.

As these boys get older it is harder to tell them that things "don't matter" but we are not the ones out on the school playground and honestly I wouldn't want to return there.Brutal.I call it a little slice of the real world:the good,the bad and the ugly.

I have seen that beautiful heart of Mondo's in action and truly,he will see,maybe not today,that that heart,is all that matters.

That picture of he and Zoey remains one of my very favorite of all time.

Kiss your kindhearted boy from me.

Kelly said...

Oh Lacey, I feel your pain. Mondo is so much like my oldest, Mason(7). He too is playing baseball with kids who have played for some time. My boy is his own worst enemy (he is a perfectionist by nature). He did not get one hit at his game last night and he was off to the side all by himself in the dugout (heartbreaking). It takes all I have to not go over there and comfort (embarass)him. This motherhood thing sure is tough, but it is also so rewarding. We just keep on loving and encouraging our little ones to be the very best that THEY can be. And no matter what that is, we will be here loving them unconditionally!! Our boys are going to be just FINE!!!

Lori said...

I have a similiar situation with baseball. I have a daughter that plays and she is the only girl on the team (plus there's only 3 in the whole league)she was striking out alot. She cried over it each time. One night when I tucked her into bed I asked her what she thought when she was up to bat - her thought was she was afraid she would strike out again. I told her to think about and imagine hitting the ball before she fell asleep. The next game, she hit the ball for a double. She still strikes out but has been getting some pretty good hits too. All he needs is to get a hold of one and he will be so much more confindent - he'll get it - it just might take some time. Even the pros strike out and do bad!

Stevenson Family said...

Oh that breaks my heart. In a few years, he will look back at this and realize baseball isn't everything. It looks like he has a lot more going for him than sports!! He sure sounds like a sweet boy.

stephanie said...

Just keep on doing what you already are. That being a great mom who is there for her kids. Even if they just need to cry it out, or scream!

And if you find that bubble, send me one too.

Mondo has the makings of an extraordinary human being. Can't wait to meet him one day.

April said...

Oh there are so many tender things that come with being a parent... you are doing a wonderful job!!! He has so much courage to play, even though he gets nervous and shy!

Team Carter Jay said...

I agree with everyone else. The best thing we can do as parents is encourage and love them. He'll find his place in this big ol' world soon enough. <3

Emily said...

Being a Mother IS the hardest job out there. You are doing a fabulous job. He is such a sweet boy.

Alicia said...

Oh, so hard on a Mama's heart! I know you are doing one of the only things you can do: love him through this. It looks as though his sweet and tender nature might lead him down an interesting career path. Hmmmm.....

Anderson Family said...

I agree completely - motherhood is definitely the hardest job. We did the same thing with Parker - he played baseball a few seasons - but was just not cut out for that sport. We switched to soccer and he has thrived.

The oxygen tent is so we can leave his cannula out of his nose - because he keeps taking it out anyway. And it is before we can hook it into CPAP - eventually he will go through CPAP but first we got to get him to wear the dumb thing. I just rigged up the oxygen tent - I am going to have to tweak it - then I will take pictures and post them. We probably will be doing that sedative - but Dr. P wanted us to try for a month or two to see if we can get him to wear it without a sedative.

And call anytime - we can work on your summer letters. Let me know when the auction items have been paid for and I can box them up and ship them off! So glad you were able to raise a lot of money!aw

Jessica said...

Lacey Thank you for leting me take you van for a joy ride(hehe) It was so wonderful to visit with you and to see little Jaxson roll over! I hope we can get to gether again soon, yes, with my kids in tote. PS your boys are beautiful.

Tina said...

You hit the nail on the head when you say being a mother is harder than any other job.

I feel for you Lacey because I am just like that with my boy, always wanting to shelter him from heartache, knowing deep inside that I can't do it. Mondo will find his calling, it may not be in the things you or he thinks right now, it might be in a totally different field, being sensitive and kind is a positive thing that is going to help him in his life and take him places. I think he has greater things waiting for him. In the meantime I know it couldn't be easy, don't forget he has just started baseball again, so he WILL hit the ball, probably sooner than you think and that's going to be such a happy day!! Keep the faith. Hugs :)

The Browning Family said...

Hey there ... just stopping by to say I have read a little of your adoption blog and this blog. It has blessed my heart. I will be praying for you. Jaxson is just beautiful, as is your entire family.
Charrissa Browning

Meghann said...

This makes me hope my children just stay small forever. :)

Michelle said...

Just keep loving him and letting him get it out. He needs to know it's ok to have those emotions, but he is just learning how to manage them. God love his heart!!