Sunday, May 16, 2010

An anniversary of sorts

These next 4 months are an anniversary of sorts. Four years ago was the four months Jax spent fighting for his life in the PICU. If you've heard the story or are sick of it I'm sorry.
Do I dwell on it?
No..
But I do think its important to remember what happened and what he went through. I take pictures of him every time he is in the hospital. And I take them no matter how bad he looks because I do think its important to have those. I don't remember every single day. Its times like this that I really wish I had a blog back then. It would be really nice to be able to look back and be like, Oh he was extubated this day, or he had an art line put in that day. There are specific days I remember like the brain injury, or all of his heart surgeries. But I can't remember every time they had to reintubate him, or scans, MRI's, and lines.
Every month I'm just going to talk a little about it, since most of you know the story. He was admitted April 22, and continuously got worse until April 27th was the first time he was rushed to PICU in respiratory failure and had to be intubated. So May was hard because he was intubated for a week, they extubated him late one night right before shift change and we left so I didn't get to hold him. And when I came in the next day he was on C-pap and they were going to intubate him again. I demanded to hold him on the C-pap before they reintubated him, and thats the first and last time in May I held him!

The top is the beginning of May and the bottom is the end of May.

Four years, wow, that means my baby is going to be 5 this year! Wow how times flies, and yet seems to stand still at the same time. Its amazing to both see how far Jax has come, and how stunted some things still seem to be.
Like I never thought four years later we'd still have so many tubes climbing into his crib, or that he would even still be in a crib!


I love how his piggies haven't grown in 4 years. He still wears a size1 shoe! And my favorite thing in the morning is when he wakes up and stretches and his piggies pop out above the crib sides!


And his little personality! The boy will never look at the camera! Or how his little fingers are always around his face. Its a rarity to get a picture of his little lips!


17 comments:

Sasha said...

oh thanks for sharing. I have never heard or read the full story of all the things that Jaxson went through. You are so right about taking pictures and trying to remember things. What a little trooper you have. Or big trooper since he is almost 5.:)

Shari said...

Lacey: even if others have heard the story it's OK to share it again! It's a part of your family's life that happened to your son and littlest brother. Jaxson is one cute dude! :-)

Alison said...

Thinking of you Lacey - it is amazing how much Jaxson (and you all) have been through.

Rochelle said...

Thanks for sharing more about his 4 months in the hospital.
Love his little toes poking out! So cute.

Meghann said...

Jaxson is an amazing strong little boy, as are you an incredible mother! I love his feet sticking up, what a darling little memory!

The VW's said...

This is a great anniversary to celebrate and remember.....not because he went through all of this, but because he survived!

It's amazing how much Jax has been through, and still, he fights on and thrives! He is one tough cookie! And, he's a huge blessing from God! Love and Hugs!!!

April said...

WOW Jaxson is so brave! Love the pictures of his little tootsies! :)

Kelly said...

Lacey, that's why we are all here, to share this journey! Retelling a story only helps to see how far we have come......and look at all the new friendships you have made along the way! Jax is one tough little cookie, and I find his story.....INSPIRING!!

sturpin said...

I'm glad you are sharing. I find it very healing. I am so glad we had a blog. That was how I found support. I'm not sure how we would have made it through our April to July admission if we didn't have the blog. Can't believe Jaxson is almost 5! What are y'all doing if anything for school? I remember when I taught in Utah that school isn't required until 6 there. We are looking at our IEP with Joy so it's on my mind. With Bella they don't do vents at school, so it's homebound. But Houston ISD sends their vent kids to school. Crazy to me.
Anyway, enough rambling from me. love his pigs :)

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

That cute little face ... with those yummy little fingers! I can't wait to see you guys again soon. And yes, my husband IS coming. We all 4 have passes now. In fact we were bored on Saturday and HE asked ME if we could go to Disneyland. Unfortunately out passes aren't good on Saturdays, but color me shocked! :)

Becca said...

Wow, thanks for sharing that, Lacey. He's definitely a little fighter, and he's got an amazing mamma.

Jessica said...

Maybe not the post I should read a week befor J gets intubated... Lol, Lacey I ve said it so many times but I think you are such an amazing mom. And Jax is your amazing warrior! Im glad you took pics, I too think its important even though I could not look at pics of J for over a year after his big PICU stay. I am no so glad to have them, that was the biggest part of his life. I love reading your blog its ful of inspiration. Keep on blogging woman!

Alicia said...

These kinds of anniversaries are so hard to go through, yet so important to recognize. What a significant time in Jaxson's life, as well as yours. Thank you for sharing. Survivor stories never get old, no matter how many times they are told!

Tina said...

I think it's wonderful that you are sharing these stories about Jax with us, you could share them over and over again and it wouldn't make a difference, because each time is a reminder of just how amazing thst little boy of yours is and such a blessing. It also helps us see that nothing is insurmountable as Jax has proven.

suelmayer said...

Thank you for sharing Jaxson's story. I am newer to your blog and had not heard the story. What a journey the two of you have been on. You are an amazing Mom!!!

COOLWHIP said...

I didn't realize Jaxson was Eva's age. I think there are a lot of 4 year old, going on 5's out there.
I have enjoyed reading your blog.

Melissa M said...

Thanks for sharing more of the story! I took pictures of Claire each time she was hospitalized and even when she was on the vent after her PDA repair. DH didn't understand why, but I like knowing it's one more thing we made it through!