An inspiration

A week or so a go our friend Gavin's mom emailed me and said she found something she had to get for Jax. It came yesterday and I agree, it is soo Jax.

I can't believe how many people my little munchkin has touched. That everyone feels the same way I do, he is an inspiration.

Today me and my sisters and mom went and saw My Sisters keeper. Stop reading now if you don't want to hear about it. Although I promise not to give away the ending, I've gotten in trouble for telling too much about a movie in my posts.

I read the book a couple of years ago, so I knew what it was about, but I never knew what an impact the movie would have on my emotions. Its about a young girl who has luekemia, and her younger sister is an invitro baby genetically matched so she can donate bone marrow and other things. The young sister is now expected to give her sick sister a kidney that she needs, but she's tired of being the donor, so she sue's her family for medical emancipation.

Although leukemia is one thing we haven't had to deal with, of course many of our friends have. And even a cousin of mine. It is one thing I'm terrified for Jax to get. It is common in DS kids, and so far he's had every complication you can think of, so I just wait for this to happen. And I know his little body would never survive it. But it also hit home in other ways. The mom will not give up, will not let the daughter go. It reminded me of me. When I met with the palliative care team last month, thats one thing someone brought up. Is taking care of Jax become more like a job to me, something that I have to do, and won't let go of it. Its clear the daughter is ready to go, but mom won't let it happen. I have already been feeling like that lately about Jax. If Boston says they can do surgery but its incredibly risky (if they ever call) am I just doing the surgery for me? Am I putting him through too much. The difference is he can't tell me how he feels, unlike the girl.

Trust me, its an incredible movie, and I highly recommend it. But prepare yourself, expecially if your the mom to a medically needy child. I cried with the rest of the theater, but I was holding back sobs.