Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I'm so angry right now I could spit!

A mother that has taken care of a baby for a year, has been denied the right to adopt him!

You may know that we are thinking of adopting again. Not for another 6 months to a year, but it is down the road. I've been really struggling with how I want to adopt. My heart is always with the beautiful children on Reeces Rainbow. I go to the website and want them all! But I also would like to adopt a child right in our own state. A child that is in the system and has also been left behind because of their medical need. I know in the foster system, the idea is always to try and reunite a family if at all possible. I was telling our home care RT the other day that wouldn't it be great if I could take a child, and slowly train the family how to do oxygen and feeding tubes and such, so they could eventually do it on their own? She thought that was a great idea, and thought I should bring it up!
I'm a little hesitant about the state systems though. You know what happened in Utah when we tried to adopt a baby. We were denied without even getting a chance. The social workers never even met us in person. They just assumed, with no medical background, that we couldn't care for this baby with Jax. A baby that had no feeding tube, no oxygen, just severe brain damage that they assumed left her with NO brain function. No brain function in a baby that ate from a bottle, smiled, and cooed!
I was heartbroken! Knowing this baby would not be that difficult to care for, and especially to love!
People ask why we adopt internationally, instead of in our own country...This story that made me so angry is a huge reason why!
The family of sweet Ethan, a Down syndrome boy with a lot of medical problems. I was first sent her info when they were talking about traching him. People thought that maybe I could help this family with information. They have been taking care of him for a year. When talk of a trach came about, the social workers told them he would be too much work, and they would deny the adoption. Ridiculous! You just assume families can't take care of complicated children? Its not that hard people. It makes me crazy to think that people with no medical background are making these decisions in a childs life.
Poor Ethan has been denied a transfer to Boston, where they could have helped him, and most importantly, where the family would have been able to proceed with the adoption. Now a child is going to lose the only mother and family he's ever known. How is that in the best interest of the child? A baby girl could have had a family, 4 doting big brothers, but was denied that by uneducated people.
This is why we adopted internationally. Yes, there are children here that need good homes, and you better believe that I, and many other families, are ready and waiting. But the system is failing them! The other reason is these children in other countries with disabilities, are doomed to an early death. They are neglected and left to rot in institutions. That is just plain wrong!

You think I'm a busy momma? Yes, I'm a busy momma, and I wouldn't have it any other way! My children are all taken care of, they are all given time and the love that they need and deserve. We are silly, we sing at the top of our lungs in the car to Katy Perry. We dance to Michael Jackson. We are a close family. I'm told all the time by strangers that my boys are great, when they get the door for me and everyone else at a restaurant. If my boys are around, no women will ever open the door for herself!

Seeing the joy on this face is priceless.

I can only pray for baby Ethan, and his poor family that has to walk away. I know I couldn't just walk away, how hard must it be?


Unknown said...

That is completely absurd. We didn't have medical experience but God gave us Nathan. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever been dealing with medications , airway clearance, iv's, etc. But we learn! When you love someone that's just what you do.

Melissa said...

Ethan's story just drives me crazy. I really thought it would work out. But politics and egos prevailed. :(

Rochelle said...

Amen sister! I knew you would totally understand what Shannon is going through.
Can I borrow your boys to teach Aidan how to open doors, well Jason too for that matter. LOL

The VW's said...

That is so sad! I really feel for that sweet child and the family that he should be able to stay with!

LisaL said...

That is so absolutely ridiculous!! If Ethan had been born into that family the state would not have taken him away because he had high medical needs... why does that change because he came to them? I am right there with you! That pisses me off so much I could scream!! You have someone willing to take on the responsibility! Let them!!

Becca said...

Absolutely heartbreaking. :-(

Scrappy quilter said...

Taht is just so sad. We adopted our 3 in the province we were living in at the time. Two of them were foster babies in our home and one from another fosterhome. It didn't cost us a penny to adopt them. I can't imagine having my 2 as foster children and then being told I couldn't adopt them...I would have been heart broken and horribly upset. Breaks my heart to hear others are dealing with these types of situations. Hugs

Kristin said...

Adoption is a crazy 'game' - isn't it?!