Saturday, January 29, 2011

Hiding behind anonymity

I'm finding myself needing to take anonymous comments off this blog. I hate to do that, since a lot of friends don't have profiles that like to leave comments.
Heck, maybe I should disable it before I even do this post! Ha.

If you feel so strongly about something, why don't you leave your name? Either you don't feel strongly, or you are just being rude! A lot of RR families get rude anonymous comments. These I don't really care about. Its ignorance for stuff they know nothing about. I was actually on two other blogs that were dealing with rude comments just yesterday. This is the latest comment left by an anonymous person.

"they all look so sweet and innocent accept that I know Mondo is not by the way he calls you dumb a$$ and jerk on facebook."

The reason this one bothers me so much is that this person is obviously friends with me on facebook. Now I feel like I have to revamp my whole facebook, because I like that not everyone can read what you put on there. And since this person didn't leave their name, I don't want them on my facebook either. If you leave your name, than I can respond to you and not have to do a post about it.
I'll be frank. I was ticked when Mondo put dumb a$$ on his facebook. He had just gotten his facebook account, and he was reprimanded for that comment. The facebook page almost came down. I never claim my boys are "sweet and innocent" because trust me, they aren't! Mondo doesn't call me names, he was trying to be funny. If he ever said that to me, he would never see a computer, or his friends again! His response when I got mad was, the kids at school do it! Yeash! Mondo is almost a teenager, he is now in junior high, and my shy, quiet child, his hearing some pretty crazy stuff!
He is also getting into the teenage back-talking faze. As new parents of a teenager, we are learning how to tackle this and nip it in the butt now! (by the way, any advice on that would be fabulous)
Really, Mondo is a great kid. He holds the door open for everyone, and he is always quick to help. I actually get quite a few comments on how nice my kids are, and I'm very proud of that.
So this person with the perfect children, why don't you just leave me your name so I can delete you from my facebook and save me a lot of time!

Thanks Sarah for telling me how to better secure my facebook!

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish you would stop even giving these "dumb asses" the satisfaction they are so obviously needing. They are trouble makers out to get a rise out of anyone who will play along. I know it is hurtful, but my suggestion is to just delete the comment and give it no further mention. They will move on to some other wonderful person who does not deserve it either. They want you to respond and defend yourself when you don't need to! No one has perfect kids and anyone with a brain knows that. Every one of your kids will go through their challenges, but I will tell you this from KNOWLEDGE not stupidity. Your boys have more compassion than most adults because they were raised with Jaxson. He has taught them about love and judging and obstacles that people should never have to face. They will be better men because of him for sure. Much better than anomyous "dumb asses" who obviously don't have a clue. I love you and your family. Love Auntie Boo

Denise said...

Oh please!!! Mondo is one of the nicest "almost teenagers" I know. I have never heard him talk that way to you in person and I know without a doubt that if he spoke disrespectfully to you, he would absolutely get reprimanded. Teenagers are going to push their limits and see what they can get away with. You won't let him get away with that. I have been recently surprised by some of the things Abbey hears now that she is in Middle school. We can't control what they hear or control what they say when they aren't with us, we can only let them know that it is acceptable to say things like that and hope it will eventually stick!! On another note, I hope you don't think that my daughter taught that to him :) PLEASE don't let comments like this get to you, you are good parents!! And, yes, it is a little worrisome that you are obviously friends with this person on FB and have no idea who they are.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, I don't care if you don't post my comments I just care that you see them and can know how much I admire you.

Mindy

Stephanie said...

LOL! I was just going to say the OPPOSITE of Auntie Boo. I decided long ago when we had some not very nice anon comments that from now on, they would be posted with the IP address of the individual. :P NO other comments from me - just a copy of what they said and who they are. I had to do it once and that seemed to have nipped it. Like I said when I started our blog, if you aren't brave enough to sign it, don't bother leaving the comment.

It sucks that you have to deal with these idiots. People like this are just jealous cowards - too cowardly to admit what they say, too cowardly to live their own lives so they have to tear somebody else down to make themselves feel better, and too cowardly to adopt and raise such great kids.

Hugs!!!!

Steph and Christopher

Lacey said...

Steph, how do you get the IP address? I don't know that much about computers (obviously)! The only reason I responded to this one is because of the fact they are on my facebook. Now I was told how to better secure it, I didn't know that people who weren't my friends could see my wall. Yikes!

Kristin said...

I know it's nice to receive comments, but I blog as kind of a journal, and kind of to possibly give anyone who is wondering, a glimse into the Down syndrome world. So I don't think I have ever allowed anon comments. Sure, I probably don't get as many comments, but who cares. The people that I know who don't have accounts to comment with usually have my email, so they shoot me an email if they feel like commenting. It's sad that people have nothing better to do than waste time belittling others! I say, don't give them the chance. The other anonymous commentors can register for an account if they want - it's free - so why don't they?
Just my 2 cents :)

Zoey's mom said...

Having been in the presence of Mondo and all the boys,many,many times,I can say,without a shadow of a doubt,that they are so very,very respectful.And at the same time,like all children .... they are children.None of our kids are perfect.Well at least mine and we have now raised 3 into adulthood,so to anonymous I say,seriously?Do you have children?Have they ever used bad judgment,that has been uncharacteristic?If they haven't,by all means,send your tips my way,so I can start raising my younger children just as perfectly.

I am with Stephanie.I have reposted comments and tracked down IP addresses and a few,I could track to the street and that 2 computers were in the same residence,that sent the comments.Use a sitemeter and upgrade to the higher level and it will yield more info.When I did that,surprise,surprise,I stopped getting the nasty,vile remarks.

Sorry friend.You so don't need or deserve this.

Anonymous said...

These people have NO LIFE and they are jealous of yours!! I have a google account and can leave messages with that if you decide to take the anonymous option off. I am raising 6 boys and I can tell you we have been through way worse than what Mondo wrote on fb and I do consider my children very good kids. No matter how hard you work sometimes they are more influenced by their friends than by their parents. I like that you and your famliy are so "real" - real kids make mistakes and learn - it's nice to know I am not alone in the struggles of teens and pre-teens. I don't even want to think about a teenge girl - HA! - Maureen C

Scrappy quilter said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this yet again. One reason why I don't have facebook!! I'd ignore them..delete their comments. They want attention and everytime someone gives it to them, they get bolder. It's actually getting pretty bad out there...this is a couple of times I've read this happening this week. They really do need to get a life. Hugs

Becca said...

Glad you're able to tighten up your FB account!! There are a lot of things you can do to ensure some relative safety there.

People seriously need to find something else to do. You and your family are amazing to me, and I, too, admire you. :-)

Shari said...

You know, there are a few bad apples in the bunch that try and make it bad for everyone else. I am sorry you have to read this crap. There's no call for it. I do, however, believe that there are more of us out here who love you and want the best for your precious family. Mondo isn't a bad kid. He's a pre-teen for crying out loud. I have one, too! I turned off anonymous right away. It wouldn't take but five minutes for those anonymous commenters who support you to get a quick google account or another account so they can comment on your blog. Don't let it get you down. Hang in there. You are one of the best Mommas I have met.

Anonymous said...

My guess is that your nasty anonymous commentator is another (very young, very immature) teen, hungry for any kind of attention and jealous of your wonderful family. Kids can do both thoughtless and cruel things, unfortunately, and I think the ugly remarks fall into both categories. Delete and ignore.

Sorry to have to post under anonymous here - I avoid FB for reasons others gave here, and while I did have a Google account for a while, it's somehow scrambled at present so I can't use it.

But I'm just me,

Susan in Ky, an advocate of RR

Not a Perfect Mom said...

I can't stand wimpy people...if you have something negative to say at least have the balls to tell who you are...
I'm sorry Lacey...like you don't have enough to deal with

Michelle and Sean said...

I'm with you. I don't understand why people don't just post their name.

Also I just wanted to tell you that I love your pics on your last post!! So cute!!

Oh and I know, right, it is nice Maggie isn't in the ICU with these dumb infections. I think that antibiotic helped a lot but now that she is done with it I'm getting more nervous. We will see.

Good luck with the meetings you have coming up!!

momof4inNY said...

I'm sorry that mean people feel the need to comment on your/anyone's blog! You have beautiful childred and I enjoy reading about your days--I love the way you "keep it real"!!!

Melissa M said...

For the most part I really dislike anon comments. If you have something to say, just say it. I hope tightening things up on the blog and FB help with all the negative people.

Amy said...

I had someone paste a heartful anoymous comment before that heart so. They decided to tear me down instead of trying to help build me up and support me. It heart to the core. What hurt the most is they hid behind Christianity. Sad.

Mondo could of have down worse. However, I understand its a teachable moment.

Laura Gilmour said...

I disabled anon comments on my blog after I got a neo-Nazi comment about people with Asperger's Syndrome needing to be placed in concentration camps, along with several advertising comments a day. Your family doesn't need that kind of abuse. I have become more careful with what I post online over the last few years and my facebook is only available to family and friends I have known for years.

Anonymous said...

That comment was obviously left by someone that hasn't raised a pre-teen/teenager. Most parents I know, myself included, have had to request their chid remove a commet/picture from FB. Thanks to the world we live in they don't always realize what is inappropriate. It's just another part of parenting. I'm sorry some people are so rude and butt in where they don't belong.

Rhonda Sloup

G-Zell said...

OMg are you serious! What a jerk! I am so sorry. Some people just need to get a life.. ugh...

Hang in there.

stephanie said...

Lacey... again! You're like the Queen of bad comments. how do these freaks even find you. and why do people around you feel the need to nit pick everything. ALL I can say is they
don't have teenagers! or they just don't know their teenagers! People are always so quick to point out others problems or mistakes or "bad kids" when they don't have a clue! You're kids are great. I know this by just following you and by how beautifully others who have met you speak about your kids.
It's always the first thing people say about your family... that your boys are so great!
Did they see the video at the airport when you came home with Arina!! I sat and cried because the boys were so overwhelmed with love and happiness for their little sister. Why don't people comment on those moments and not just one silly thing. Mondo rocks!!

CFMama said...

I took anonymous comments off my blog because of this very reason. If you are going to slander someone, don't hide behind anonymity.

Sasha said...

Well that's too bad. Can never be sure why people do what they do. Hopefully it stops or people fess up.

The VW's said...

My husband and I always say, "The best parents are those who don't have children!" :) That is probably the case with this commenter. Either that, or they forgot what it's like raising children!

I am a mother who parents her children very strictly. Our boys know what is right and wrong, and I don't let them get away with anything!....But, even though I expect my boys to use their manners, speaking nicely, don't use bad words, etc.,.....they are still OUT OF CONTROL! Children are children.....They, and all of us, make mistakes and say things we shouldn't....but that doesn't mean that they/we are horrible people! It just shows that we are human.

Anonymous: Show me a perfect person....I bet you can't find one!

Lacey: There is no doubt in my mind that your boys are sweet and caring! Sometimes I read your posts and wish my boys were so kind! Don't let these hateful people get to you! As a Momma who tries, but who's boys are absolutely CRAZY....I totally understand! All we can do it try and teach them all that we can, but we have to expect our children to be human too! You are doing great with your boys and Jax is teaching them lots too!

Love and Hugs!!!

Bethany said...

People are so crazy, don't they have anything better to do? I have never received negative comments on my blog (well, only ONE and that was about medicaid waivers and the use of them, from a mom of a child with a disability, no less -- but whatever) ... but if I ever got any, I'd find them out and call them out too! LOL