Isolation and special needs!

As I listen more and more to people saying that they lost friends after they had a child with special needs, or they are no longer getting phone calls to join friends for dinner or a party it made me sad! 

I also thought, well that didn't happen to me! My good friends I had in high school I still talk to through Facebook, and get together maybe once a year. But then I realized that in my neighborhood, I never really made friends with the other moms. We waved and smiled, but no more than that. I never get invited to play dates, or to go out with other adults. I didn't think that much about it because I have so many new friends that are also moms of children with special needs! 

As much as its nice to have all these new friends, it's heartbreaking to feel left out.

I imagine that having a friend your whole life and losing that friend because they can't handle, or just don't know what to say to you now, makes you feel horrible!

I would make a list of things to say or not say to a mom of a child with special needs, but I think those lists are ridiculous! We shouldn't expect our friends to know what to say, and I think that's why they are afraid to say anything! If they say something that seems horrible, or outdated, or ignorant, kindly correct them, and move on. I've had friends say they are afraid to ask questions, or make a comment for fear it will make that person angry. They shouldn't feel that way.

The only thing I do say, is don't be afraid of us or our children!

Just because instead of baby bottles on our counter, we have medical supplies..

We are still very much like you!

Just because instead of lots of toys in our child's bedroom, it's shelves and shelves of medical equipment..

Doesn't mean we don't want to have play dates with other children!

I know as a friend looking in it seems scary. But please don't turn away! Our kids are just kids, and we want for them the same things you want for your children! And more than likely, the exposure to a child with special needs will make your child a much more compassionate, understanding person!