Saturday, January 10, 2015

We have found Arina's birth parents!

Well we haven't verified it yet, but she is from a very small village. That name in that village could only be them. Not to mention there is a younger brother that is the spitting image of Arina with the same big blue eyes.

We have a dear friend Ellen, and she is from Ukraine. We met her at cvs where she has been helping us with the chaos that can be Jax medications for three years. Her mother even came to America to visit and brought Arina a bunch of Ukrainian gifts! 
Last night Ellen and I were talking about Arina's birth parents. She is a little more harsh than me, saying she thinks its horrible that they gave her up! I feel like they didn't know any better. This is how their very small village is. If she had any major medical problems they wouldn't have anywhere to take her. The nearest hospital was in the city the orphanage was in, Cherkasy, 2 hours away.
But Ellen was able to find her father in a Russian Facebook page. There she found the pictures, which I can't post because we do not have permission. The bad part is we don't even think they have a computer. Last time he was online was in Oct. 2013! But our super sleuth Ellen found some relatives in his friends list and contacted a cousin. She is trying to get her to tell him to get online. I'm really hoping they would like to see pictures of her now, and would like to get to know us. But I'll understand if they don't want to get involved.
I have mixed emotions now that I've found them. I've always truly thought that they loved her. But they were young, and scared into giving her up by the hospital staff. I see this little brother and think, oh my gosh, Arina has 5 brothers! It's all a bit surreal, and I hope it turns out to be a great thing, finding them. And that they will be amazed at what a beautiful little girl she has become!


Scrappy quilter said...

I can see where you would have mixed emotions. I caution you to be absolutely sure they are her parents. Having said that, I firmly believe birth parents love these children. They are in countries that treat these kids as objects to be placed in horrendous places to live their lives. The parents in most cases don't have the choices we have nor the medical systems to help should the need arise. Even in my own country, they abort them without a moments hesitation. Giving them up as Arina's parents did gave her a found her and look at her. Blossoming into all that God created her to be. She is beautiful!

C, A, and girls said...

I don't know you, but I saw your blog title while reading another blog, and we are dealing with some of these same things. Our youngest daughter is 3 1/2 and was adopted from Ukraine at 1. We did get to meet her biological grandmother, who actually lives with her birth parents and sister. She did visit our daughter before we got there, and asked for pictures every year. Even though she was in a larger city, her mother was told she would never walk, talk, or communicate and that she should give her away. Even doctors don't have any experience with people of any age with disabilities because they are all sent away. More than a cruelty, I think it is a matter of ignorance. The US wasn't far off of that long ago. I hope it ends up being a wonderful experience, but I know that for our daughter's first mother, it was extremely painful and she needed to just act like it didn't happen. I do know that she is glad to see that Thea is doing well now. I will also say that I would be careful in what you say to other people. Often, the family has said that the child died rather than admit having a baby with a disability and putting her up for adoption. It may be really difficult to have a distant relative find out about a child that they are claiming not to have had. Good luck though-I hope you can ease the parents minds. I'm sure it was especially hard if she is the only girl to be born out of six children!

Shelly Turpin said...

I would love a relationship with my babies's families, but they have chosen not to have a relationship with us. They tell me it is just too painful. If they couldn't do it, why can I? I have to respect their decision. But I want to share special moments, send pictures of triumphants. Adoption is a bittersweet thing. I get to enjoy so many sweet, sweet moments. I wish I could share them! Hoping for you!

Julia said...

I think the second comment was thinking that you found out the birth family had 5 other boys, not realizing you meant her brothers at home make up 4 of those 5 brothers! ;-)

That said, I think this is exciting. Also, I think being able to show them that their daughter is not a non-functioning invalid and is healthy and loved and beautiful and full of personality, even if its just a smiling photo, might do a lot to a heal a broken heart that wrestles with memories of a little girl they loved and carried in their womb only to feel they had no other choice.

I pray for the day when these other countries and cultures catch up with what we now know - that these kids are valuable and smart and ABLE!

Best wishes.