Oh. My. Gosh

Today has been a hell of a day. And I'm telling you right now that this post is all over the place. But it matches my feelings today, I'm feeling a little bipolar. Extreme highs and lows, all in one day!

But let me start with Monday....
Monday I made a call to my pediatrician only to find out her office was closed. It was a Utah holiday, but for some reason I never remember them being closed before. I was unsure of waiting any longer with Jax and his horrible coloring. I talked to the doctor on call, who at first I was told it was a doctor that knew Jax. But when I got the return call, it was someone totally different. Of course she told me I needed to take him to the ER, just to have him checked out. With his complicated history, its better to be safe than sorry. So in we went.
I've come to the realization that if Jax doesn't send people running in the ER, than he probably doesn't need to be there. I mean, when you have lifesaving equipment in your bedroom, you don't go to the ER unless your super sick. So when his vitals were fine, particularly blood pressure, I thought we shouldn't be there. They did basic bloodwork, that also came back fine, so although the doctor said Jax makes him nervous, we can't sit in a hospital and wait for him to do something. So I spent 5 hours in the ER for nothing!!

Today, I had big plans. Plans to paint and clean so my house can be listed this weekend.
If you didn't see my post from earlier today, here's a glimpse.
Literally 1 second after setting down the paint, Arina was covered! I didn't even know she was in the kitchen! 30 seconds before she was happily playing in her room.
So my day started cleaning paint off a mischievous toddler!


Then, as I'm painting, I notice that the color is way to dark, so my touch up job was going to have to be painting the full walls!
That was when I had my panic attack! I called my realtor and said I'm done, I'm officially waving the white flag. I can't do this on my own, its just too hard. He told me he would come out tomorrow and take pictures, so we can get the house listed, and then he would look at the paint and we'd figure it out!
I went down to paint the boys room, and thank goodness the paint matched perfectly, so I was able to finish that job quick.

My pediatrician called, we talked about Jax. She agreed just to watch and see what he does. Then she told me she was going to help me find a ped in California. I almost teared up right then. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without her. Our relationship has gone farther than doctor/patient. She was my therapist when we just didn't know how we were going to survive. She sat at Jax bedside when he was dying, and when he came back. We've cried together. We've swore together. I love her with all my heart and can't stand the thought of not working with her!

In the afternoon, we are finishing up the boys room, and Mondo runs downstairs telling me Arina was choking!
I ran upstairs, and indeed she acted like she was choking. She was panicking, foaming at the mouth, and every time she would try to breathe in, no air would pass. She was crying, so I knew she was moving some air. I didn't panic, I'd seen much worse than this in the hospital. My training kicked in, and I did infant Heimlich. It did nothing. I knew I couldn't put her in the car, I didn't have time to drive her to the hospital, so we called 911. When they paramedics got there, she was moving a bit more air, but she had tons of secretions. They kept asking me if she was sick. I told them no. They sucked her out with a bulb syringe, and prepared to transport her. As the paramedic sucked her out a bit more, a marble fell out of her mouth! I don't even know where that came from! My boys don't play with marbles. So thank goodness we avoided an ambulance ride for her!
Than my pediatrician called back and said she looked at his labs from the ER. She said his bi carb was the highest its ever been. That really surprised me. I really didn't think anything respiratory or his Co2, his sats have been pretty good for him. But it was even higher than it was in August when we started the vent. So for some reason he is not oxygenating like he should, and she said it could indeed make his color yucky, even without the respiratory symptoms. So I'm supposed to call Pulmo tomorrow and she what she says. I don't know what she'll do, we've already upped his vent settings once. I don't know how much higher we can go!
So good news is my house will be on the market in the next day or so, bad news is my little's are really giving me a run for my money.

Quite the bipolar day, I'd say!