Thursday, June 28, 2012

Life's directions

I'm always amazed at the direction life takes you!

When I had 3 boys, we talked about adopting a little girl. I always wanted 4 kids. We discussed it a little bit, but never got serious about it. After I started working on the surgical unit of the childrens hospital, I told Ray I wanted to adopt a baby with a heart defect.

He thought I was nuts!
The funny thing is, I don't remember much about getting pregnant with Jax. I don't remember if we said, lets try one more time for a girl, or if we weren't really trying but it happened. Either way, Jax was meant to be here.
After the disappointment of Carter not being a girl, I told myself I was not having another baby. No way was I going to just try again and hope for a girl. That's where my memory suddenly fades, and we not only ended up with another boy, but a very special boy. I had my heart baby that I wanted to adopt so badly.
The first few years of Jax life were so chaotic, so heartbreaking, that we were just trying to survive!
But when the talk of adopting a little girl came back up, it had changed directions dramatically!

I wanted a little girl that sported an extra chromosome. I was worried a little bit. I had always wanted a girl. Would a little girl with Down syndrome do everything I dreamed a girl would? I wanted a girl that I could put in a dance class like I did. One that would go shopping with me, and be my buddy.
Not only did I get that, but I rescued a little girl that was doomed to a life of tragedy.
I got a little girl to dress all in pink, with pretty pink bows for her hair. I also got a little girl that doles out kisses like no other!
I'm the luckiest momma in the world! And to think that if Jaxson hadn't come into my life, Arina would not have come into my life either.
I was destined to have that fourth baby boy, the one that I swore I would never have. I swore I would never birth another baby, that adoption would be our only next child. Jaxson helped to bring our baby girl into our lives.

And I know I've said it a million times, but being the momma of a girl is everything I ever dreamed it would be! And quite honestly, I think her extra chromosome makes her even cuter!

*By the way, enjoy this horrible picture of me, it's rare, and doesn't usually get posted!!


Rochelle said...

So agree, if we didn't have Alayna we wouldn't have even known about the ds orphan population, hence there would be no Dariya. Thankful for our sweet blessings!
Life is sweeter with a girl!

Anonymous said...

She is absolutely beautiful!

Sandryte said...

This is such a miracle to live, accept all circumstances and then see in the end that this is exactly of what you wanted! Our babies are our biggest teachers. Lots of love for your family!

Becca said...

Crying into my rice krispies this morning reading this. Oh, what a beautiful princess she is. I am so, so happy that your family is so perfectly complete!! :-)

The VW's said...

Love this post! Sometimes we have to go the "long way" to get to where we were meant to be! Arina is definitely worth the trials along the way! You are one blessed all your kiddos!

Stephanie said...

Thanks for the freaking tears!!!!! what a post!

one day I'm going to squeeze you all til you beg for mercy!!!!

And btw, your pic is beautiful!!!!

Warrior Mom said...

You are both beutiful! I never ever post pics of myself but wish I did. I love seeing this photo of you guiding your sweet girl! This post gave me goosebumps. It was meant to be.

Jeana said...

Its crazy how life works out, just the way it was meant to, even though we have no idea whats to come. Love the pictures, love you guys and your beautiful story. Thanks to you there is a little girl in Russia that will be home to her family soon! btw, love the picture of you, its not horrible at all! Look like you have living it up in Cali, I'm just a little jealous ;)

grandma said...

When jax was on the way, I knew how sad you were it was not a girl. But now we have a beautiful special grandson which also brought along a beautiful little girl. when is look at her i often wonder what her life would be like if she wasn't in our family. We love her, Jax and all of our wonderful grandkids.

Runningmama said...

She is so sweet, enjoy your beautiful little girl :-)

Melissa said...

Love this post and your sweet girl! She and Jax and both exactly where they were meant to be.

Sue said...

That is super momma right there! And the princess is prety cute as well!

Colleen said...

She is so sweet in the pictures. Having a daughter is priceless!